Retirement is now called "LifeShift"

With retirement on my horizon, lately I've noticed much more information on the topic in magazines and newspapers. In the Vancouver Sun dated Saturday, April 22, 2006 there is an article entitled "It's not retirement any more, it's now called "LifeShift."

This article got me thinking about my own retirement. I've been telling everyone I know that I'm not ending my teaching career to sit in a rocking chair and knit bootees, but rather I'm excited about a new beginning for me. Now I'll be able to do all the things I've always wanted to do but couldn't because I had to make a living and raise my daughters.

I think that most single women fear poverty. Without a man in our lives to help out financially, we can be driven to work and save for our old age. We give up a lot of fun traveling, going out to the theatre, dining out at elegant restaurants, buying gorgeous clothes, etc. Our first priorities are our children and our pensions. We worry that we won't have enough money to live comfortably when we have to retire.

Some articles state that you need 70% of your gross income to retire. But by planning carefully, that is not the case. If you are debt-free, it is possible to live on 35 to 40% of your gross income. We are no longer like our fathers. We are healthier, more fit, and our life expectancy is greater. We also desire to stay active as long as our health lasts. Also, we are probably the first generation of women that are retiring. Let's face it, most of our mothers stayed at home and looked after the house and our fathers.

The future will be very interesting for us as more and more women retire and set out on their own to live the last third of their lives to the fullest. Whatever our dreams, may we all reach for the stars!

POWER OUTAGE DURING A MAMMOGRAM

I actually kept my mammogram appointment. I was met with, "Hi! I'm Belinda!" This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, "All I need you to do is step into this room right hereee, strip to the waist, thennnn slip on this gown. Everything clearrrr?"

I'm thinking, "Belinda . Try Decaf. This ain't rocket science."

Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.

Call me crazy, but I suspect a man invented this machine. It takes a perfectly healthy cup size of 36-B to a size 38-LONG in less than 60 seconds. Also, girls aren't made of sugar and spice and ever! ything nice....it's Spandex. We can be stretched, pulled and twisted over a cold 4-inch piece of square glass and still pop back into shape.

With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?"

Fine, I answered! . I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off?

My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged between those two 4" pieces of square glass) when we heard, then felt a zap! Complete darkness and the power went off!

"What?" I yelled.

"Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag." Belinda headed for the door.

"Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone, are you?" I shouted.

Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy .. the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be righttttt backkkk."

Before I could shout "NOOOO!" she disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me, half-naked and part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass! After exchanging polite "Hi, how's it going" type greetings, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.

Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible. "Uh, yes, yes I did thanks."

"You bet, take care" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin and making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said. "Oh I am soooo sorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?"

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps.

TIME FOR SOME MORE JOKES

"How to Know if You're a Loser."





This is a memo to staff. The memo reads: Dear Staff: Due to the projected increased workload in the coming months, the management has decided that it can no longer afford for you to take time out of your busy schedule and go to the restroom. Instead, to increase employee efficiency, the company will shoulder the expense of remodeling your cubicle to accommodate restroom privileges. Thank you for your cooperation.
Management




This is a blonde's answer to a geometry question on a Math exam.

Vancouver Early Evening

SWEET DREAMS

Metalxmonkey took this photo last night when Robbie was sound asleep in his Xmas basket. He sure took to this as his new bed and likes it way more than his kennel. We can now trust him to stay in it all night and not make a mess anywhere. Isn't he CUTE???? Like all children...when they're asleep. LOL

ARIZONA 2006

Here are some "people" shots from my trip to Arizona. First, the gang - clockwise from Dale the token male, me, Mary Rose, Suzanne, Cheryl, Lin. Then we have Suzanne with Lin, me with Lin, me out in the desert in front of Dale's place, and me playing with the cactus. :D Suzanne taught me a lot about cactus - like the jumping one. I walked near one and she almost freaked out! :D

ARIZONA 2006 Part Deux

Okay here we have Suzanne feeding the deer at the Grand Canyon, me playing with a saguaro this time (at night). Suzanne nearly freaked out when I touched the spines - she started screaming "Don't touch them - there's poison in them!" LOL Then here I am thrilled to death to finally see the Grand Canyon (but Man! was it COLD!), then fooling around on the ledge (Vicki - eat your heart out! LOL) and finally Suzanne and I enjoying a wonderful lunch at the 100-year-old lodge at Grand Canyon. (We ended up having to move to another table 'cuz it got too hot for us "hot chicks" by the fireplace.)

THE WASHCLOTH

I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me there was a cancellation and the 9:30am appointment was available. I took it. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to spare.

As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort.

So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in "that area" to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.

I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in.

Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other such glamorous place a million miles away.

I was a little surprised when the doctor said, "My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven't we?" I didn't respond.

After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal... some shopping, cleaning, cooking, etc.

After school when my six year old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, "Mommy, where's my washcloth?"

I told her to get another one from the cupboard.

She replied, "No!!!".

Now wait for it......., this is too funny not to be true!!!)





She yelled, " I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it!"

The Compassionate Teacher

I received this today and it moved me so much because I actually did this little exercise for our graduating Grade 7 students the first year I started teaching at my current school. These students would now be in first year university, and I often wonder if they still have those pieces of paper I made up for them.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.

Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.

It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.

On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. "Really?" she heard whispered. "I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!" and "I didn't know others liked me so much," were most of the comments.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in Viet Nam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature. The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.

As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. "Were you Mark's math teacher?" he asked. She nodded. "Yes." Then he said: "Mark talked about you a lot."

After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.

"We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it."

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.

"Thank you so much for doing that," Mark's mother said. "As you can see, Mark treasured it."

All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home."

Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album."

"I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary."
Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me at all times," Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued, "I think we all saved our lists."

That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that day will be. So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.
Remember, you reap what you sow. What you put into the lives of others comes back into your own.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Last year I implemented something for my Grade 4 students that I call "SONSHINERS." Every Monday morning, each child draws a secret "Sonshiner Pal" and is to make a point (secretly) to play with them, pray for them, help them with something, etc. Then on Thursday, they write a note (on special yellow notepaper) to their pal to compliment them on something they noticed throughout the week. Examples: "I really enjoyed your book talk. It made me want to read the book, too." "You were so kind to that kindergarten student who fell off the swing." "You are really good at hockey." "Thank you for helping me with my Math." On Friday, the kids can hardly wait to read their notes before they glue them in a special notebook and respond to the compliment they received that day. At the end of the year, each child takes home a book of special memories from all their schoolmates.

This month, I've also started a new program called "Taking Steps Towards Tolerance and Compassion." Along with drawing a Sonshiner pal for the week, the kids draw a T&C token. This gives them a suggestion for something to do that will help them to understand about tolerance and compassion. Examples: "Give your Mom and Dad a high five every day this week and say 'I love you.'" "Choose someone you don't know very well and find out about 3 special customs and traditions that they follow at home." "Choose someone you know who is a compassionate person and write 3 sentences that show how that person illustrates compassion towards others." When the kids complete their T&C, they receive a paper "shoe" that they decorate with their example of tolerance and compassion. I'm planning on putting these shoes along the halls in the school so the Grade 4 class can set an example of how to show these traits to other classes. The goal is to go all around our floor and down the stairs to fill the bottom level. I hope we can do it!

May Your Day Be Blessed And As Special As You Are

VANCOUVER 2010 WINTER OLYMPICS

Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics,
these are some questions people the world over are asking!!!!

Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an
International Tourism Website (frightening, isn't it!)

Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked.


Q:I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?(UK)
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch
them die.

Q:Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A:Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q:I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad tracks?
(Sweden)
A:Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q:Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A:So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q:It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact
for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A:Let's not touch this one.

Q:Are there any ATM's(cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of
them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A:What did your last slave die of?

Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA )
A:A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is
that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is
every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q:Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A:Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and
we'll send the rest of the
directions.

Q:Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A:Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh
forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in
Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come
naked.

Q:Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A:No, WE don't stink.

Q:I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.
Can you sell it in Canada? (USA)
A:Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q:Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female
population is smaller than the male
population? (Italy)
A:Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q:Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A:Only at Thanksgiving.

Q:Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?
(Germany)
A:No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is
illegal.

Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name.
It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A:It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of
anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself
with human urine before you go out walking.

Q:Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A:Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

VANCOUVER BLIZZARD!

Vancouver (Reuters)

Vancouver Blizzard 2005 - Revenge of the Commuters

Chilled Vancouver commuters faced their second day of winter hell today, as an additional one-quarter centimeter of the peculiar white stuff fell, bringing the lower mainland to its knees and causing millions of dollars worth of damage to the marijuana crops. Scientists suspect that the substance is some form of frozen water particles and experts from Saskatchewan are being flown in. With temperatures dipping to the almost but not quite near zero mark, Vancouverites were warned to double insulate their lattes before venturing out.

Vancouver police recommended that people stay inside except for emergencies, such as running out of espresso or biscotti to see them through Vancouver's most terrible storm to date. The local Canadian Tire reported that they had completely sold out of fur-lined sandals.

Drivers were cautioned to put their convertible tops up, and several have been shocked to learn that their SUV's actually have four wheel drive, although most have no idea how to use it.

Weary commuters faced soggy sushi, and the threat of frozen breast implants. Although Dr. John Blatherwick, of the Coastal Health Authority reassured everyone that most breast implants were perfectly safe to 25 below, down-filled bras are flying off the shelves at Mountain Equipment Co-op. "The government has to do something," snarled an angry Trevor Warburton. "I didn't pay $540,000 for my one bedroom condo so I could sit around and be
treated like someone from Toronto."

ME AND MY CAR

This is one of the photos I took the same day my daughter and I went walking in Bear Creek Park. I really like this one. Also, here I am with my car.

AUTUMN PHOTOS & ALASKA CRUISE

Photos are ones metalxmonkey took at Bear Creek Park on a beautiful autumn Sunday last weekend. She has a knack for photography, I think.

Finally, I got my computer up and running again! Plus finally managed to get through all the emails that were waiting. So, I'm wondering who is interested in going on the Aug. 20-27 Alaska cruise and would be interested in being a room mate. The reason I chose this particular cruise is because it goes further North than the other one, which I did summer of '04 on Norwegian Cruise Lines. I do want to see what the cost is going to be, though, before I "book." So, if anyone is interested in rooming together, let me know. I would want a stateroom with balcony because I found that it is great to watch the scenery go by in the comfort of your own room. Out on deck, it can get very windy and cold. The rooms on NCL were much bigger than I had anticipated, which was a pleasant surprise for someone who'd never cruised before. Feel free to post here or get in touch via email. Thanks. Have a great day, everyone!

YOUNG WIDOWS

This is what I posted on clickgirl (Brenda's) site about my dream of writing an inspirational book about women who became widows far too young.

Brenda and Jackie! This is absolutely amazing! You can definitely count me in on whatever comes from this. I have always wanted to travel, but like Chandra, couldn't find friends who had the either the time and/or the money to join me. Also, I've always been afraid that if I gave up the security of my teaching position to do what I really wanted, I'd end up homeless.

This whole adventure has been so eye opening to me. I realize now that life is too short to not try to realize our dreams. Besides travel, my dream has been to write. From meeting so many wonderful women through Richard's search, I am now working on making my dream come true.

I am going to spend the next few months working on the financial aspects of ending my teaching career and beginning a new one writing. I have been thinking of all the women I met who became widows very young in life (between the ages of 40ish and 60ish) and I would like to write an inspirational book of surviving one of the worst tragedies a woman can imagine. Losing your husband at an age where you are too young to be relegated to the back pew of the church but too old to easily meet suitable or available men is more than difficult. No, we do not NEED a man, but most of us really do want to have someone to love and someone to love us. It is just simply in our nature.

We are all survivors. Most of us have had to raise our children alone. Most of us have had to work full time while doing so. Some of us have had support (financial and/or emotional) and some of us not.

All these years, I thought I was one of a very few young widows and in a category of my own. Now I realize that is not true. If I can help one young widow through my dream of writing about "our" survival, it will all have been worth it.

I've never done this before, but am willing to learn all aspects of writing and publishing in order to realize this dream. Maybe you, Brenda, have some ideas of how to go about this (since you're in the media environment). Maybe we could eventually do a documentary. Something. Anything. We need to get this story out.

Regarding divorcees. I know that they have gone through or do go through a lot of the same grieving processes that widows do. But I have no experience of that. Let me try to do this one project and if it's successful, maybe I could do something similar for you.

I would be interested in hearing from anyone who has lost her husband from accident, illness, violence, or suicide (like I did), was in the age range I mentioned above, and would like to take part in this venture. I would use pseudonyms so as to make it easier to tell your story fully. Please contact me through my blog. Thanks to all.

10/22/2005 11:05 PM

Bear Creek Park

On Wednesday, October 19th, my Grade 4s participated in a cross-country run at Bear Creek Park near to our school. Our school won the overall trophy and my Grade 4 boys won the trophy for all the Grade 4 boys who participated (a lot of schools). I am so proud of them all. I would love to post a photo of "my kids" but it wouldn't be appropriate, so I thought I'd just post a couple of shots of the creek in the area where they ran - along the trail around the park and through the trees with all the changing colours of Fall. It is a beautiful location.

Also, here's a photo of me and my Dad on my birthday. Notice at almost 85, there's not a grey hair on his head, although his forehead has grown a bit higher over the years.

PUMPKIN LOAF

Mix the following ingredients - IN ORDER - and then fold into a well-greased 9 X 5 inch loaf pan. Bake at 325 degrees for 80 minutes.

1 1/2 cups flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp cinammon
1/2 tsp ground cloves
3/4 tsp ground ginger
1/2 tsp nutmeg
3/4 cup granulated white sugar
2 eggs
1/4 cup corn syrup
1/2 cup oil (Crisco or Mazola)
1 cup canned pumpkin
1/2 cup raisins
1/2 cup chopped walnuts OR pecans

BON APPETIT!

Oh Baby!

Guess Who?

Heaven

An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world.

For his first chapter he decided to write about American churches. So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando, thinking that he would work his way across the country from South to North.

On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read $10,000.00 per call. The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to Heaven and that for $10,000.00 one could talk to God. The American thanked the priest and went along his way.

Next stop was in Atlanta, there, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and asked a nearby nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to Heaven and that for $10,000.00 he could talk to God. "O.K. thanks" said the American

He then traveled to Indianapolis, Washington DC, Philadelphia, Boston and New York, then on to Portland and north to Seattle. In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same $10,000.00 per call sign under it.

Upon leaving Seattle, the American saw a sign saying "Route 5 North to Vancouver CANADA" and decided to see if Canadians had the same golden telephone.

He drove for awhile and finally arrived in Ladner, BC. Sure enough, there again in the local church was the same golden telephone, only this time the sign under it read 25 cents per call.

The American was surprised and so intrigued that he asked the church's pastor about the sign.

"Father, I've traveled all over America and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches, I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in every state the price was $10,000.00 per call. Why is it so cheap here?"

The priest smiled and answered: "You're in Canada now son, it's a local call."

My Mom - My Age (about)

This is especially for Willemina because I told her that she reminded me of my Mom when my Mom was around our age. I remember her as always being so beautiful, even just before she passed away at age 82 in 2002. She was a very intelligent woman, social and chatty. I really miss her as we were very close.