From Romance to Reality to Relationship

ABC Wednesday is up to the letter R in this fifth go-round, hosted by Denise Nesbitt. Check out other participants' ideas on each letter of the week by clicking here.

Romance is a general term that refers to the attempt to express love with words or deeds. Within the context of "romantic love" relationships, it usually implies an expression of one's love, or one's deep emotional desires to connect with another person. So how does one express love towards another? Verbal expressions like "I love you," "I adore you," "I want to make you happy," "You make me so happy," are typical. Showing love towards another person in deeds could be expressed through bringing unexpected gifts like flowers, or through making a special meal, taking the loved one out for the evening, or simply by holding hands.

However, eventually, reality sets in. Reality, in everyday usage, means the state of things as they actually exist. No matter how deeply a couple is in love, they still have to face the fact that the garbage needs to be taken out, bills need to be paid, one or the other will get sick, one might lose a job, or one might snore.

Romance that survives reality can become an enduring relationship that involves a level of interdependence. People in a relationship influence each other by sharing their thoughts and feelings and by engaging in activities together. Because of this interdependence, most things that change or impact one member of the relationship will have some level of impact on the other member.

Yes, reality has intruded upon our romance, but that was to be expected. Now, we're working on developing that enduring relationship that will hopefully surpass all the doubts and fears that constantly creep into our lives. The bottom line is that we love each other.

Monochrome Weekly

On a recent sunny afternoon, we went for a stroll in Deas Park near our home. I loved how the light played on the leaves of the trees, creating shadows along this path. Hope you like it, too.

Monochrome Weekly is the brainchild of Aileni and if you'd like to participate, or see others' contributions, simply click here.

Also, you can click on the photo to see it in a larger format.

Have a great week, all.

Q is for QUICK ACTION

Early Sunday morning, my sleepy little village was rudely awakened by fire engines screaming down the main drag towards the small business core. Fire gutted three places - Marco's Bistro, Heritage House Interiors, and the Dragonfly Gallery. I frequent all of these stores, especially the furniture one - it's where we recently bought our new dining room furniture and where I had my family room furniture made.

Firemen swarmed the area, squirting their hoses to contain the blaze. And when I drove by on Monday, firemen and insurance and restoration people were there surveying the damage. Apparently, the fire isn't suspicious, but it certainly took its toll. Click on photo to enlarge.

This is the report from the Editor of the South Delta Leader (local newspaper).

Delta Fire and Emergency Services personnel were still sifting through the charred debris of three Ladner Village businesses Monday (Nov. 9) after a fire on 48th Ave.

Deputy Fire Chief Rick Lehbauer says that while no official cause has been found to the early morning blaze on Nov. 8 that gutted Marco's Bistro, Heritage House Interiors and The Dragonfly Gallery, initial findings do not point to anything suspicious.

Lehbauer adds the fire possibly started at Marco's Italian Bistro and because the building was quite old it did not have any firewalls to slow the spread of the flames.

"The fire was knocked down pretty quick at the restaurant by our guys, but the flames had gotten into the spaces in the floor joists and moved pretty rapidly east-west and into the other buildings," Lehbauer says.

The residents in an apartment above the businesses managed to leave the structure without injury.

While insurance adjusters have to formally assess the scene, Lehbauer estimates the businesses suffered heavy damage.

One of those trying to pick up the pieces is Mark Rattee who opened Marco's Bistro last December.

He says the popular location was enjoying some of its best nights in past few weeks with plenty of repeat customers coming through the doors.

"I'm just kind of numb right now. I put my heart and soul and just about every penny into this business and I'm not sure what happens now," he says. "Things were just starting to turn around. We were getting plenty of business and had sold a lot of tickets to our wine pairing event next Saturday."

Rattee says he left the restaurant with is son about 11:15 p.m. on Saturday, "And we did all the things we normally do. We made sure everything was turned off."

Just over four hours later, Rattee says he got a call from his alarm company advising him the restaurant's motion detectors were being set off.

"So, I jumped in the car, drove down there and saw the front windows were all blackened," he says, adding he then went around the rear of the property and opened the rear door of the restaurant.

"When I did that, rather foolishly, the smoke just came billowing out," he says, adding he then called 911.

To see footage of the carnage, click HERE. If it weren't for quick action by the Delta Firefighters, more of my village would have gone up in flames and people could have been killed or badly injured!

Monochrome Weekly - Sails

This is a cropped photo of a piece of art that now graces one of the walls in our living room. It's my favourite piece of all the artwork that he brought with him and I love how it looks in black and white.

Monochrome Weekly is brought to you by Aileni and if you'd like to see other participants' pieces, just click here. You'll be amazed at some of the shots.

Click on photo to enlarge.

Memories

I'm feeling a bit under the weather today with a wicked headache and a bit of a sore throat. So as I was lying down waiting for the extra-strength Tylenol to kick in, I realized that today would have been my late husband's birthday.

I quickly calculated that he'd have been 63 years old today. I wonder what he would have been like now. My memories of him are of a tall, handsome man with brilliant blue eyes and a sense of humour that totally cracked me up. He was highly intelligent; loved hockey, golf, and tennis (in his younger years); and was a real family man.

When we were expecting our first child, my older sister loaned me the crib she'd used for her two sons. Since we didn't have a garage, Brian lugged it over to his parents' house to paint it. I recall sitting on a lawn chair the summer before Jamie arrived, facing the open garage, and watching him paint the crib white with yellow trim. He worked so hard on that crib, making sure that everything was perfect. And when she arrived late in October, he was so thrilled that she had "chubby cheeks" just like me. (Well, I could have done without that comparison!) Three and a half years later, Jaclyn arrived and she used the same crib, freshly washed and made up just for her.

Brian would do anything for his girls. He took them horseback riding both here and in the interior where we'd spend our summers at the cabin. He taught them to swim and water-ski and took them fishing. He built bonfires every evening and serenaded us all with songs as he played his guitar. Jaclyn now has that guitar and treasures it and the memories it invokes. I think two of the songs she remembers the most are "Puff the Magic Dragon" and The Animals' "House of the Rising Sun." He gave them opportunities to do figure skating, ballet, soccer, skiing, and other sports. He gave us all the opportunity to live in Ottawa, our capital city, for almost three years leaving us with a wealth of memories about that part of our country.

Brian made sure we all had the best Christmases we could afford, and even sometimes more so, to my chagrin. Every Christmas Eve, after they'd had their bath, he'd read "The Night Before Christmas" to the girls. He also made sure the girls had fantastic birthdays, sometimes with their friends and sometimes just with family. And he made sure they knew all about caring for their pets - the cat Velvet, the two dogs Cassie and Star, and even goldfish.

Yes, we had many adventures together, both before and after our daughters were born. Unfortunately, illness took its toll on him and the good life vanished before our eyes. It took me a long, long time to get over his loss and my daughters still, to this day, mourn him. But we must move forward with our lives.

Left: Jamie age 6 1/2 and Jaclyn age 3 at the Vancouver Animal Park in Aldergrove, BC

Right: last photo I have of the girls with their Dad at Christmas 1991. Jaclyn was 11 1/2 and Jamie was 15.

I'll never forget his telling me that he wanted me to find someone else - someone to love and be loved by. It's taken almost two decades for that to happen, but even though I'm happily moving forward in the direction he wanted for me, Brian will always be a part of my life.

P is for Peaceful Path

Halloween day dawned bright and sunny, so we decided to go to Deas Park, about a 10-minute drive from our place. It's a beautiful, peaceful place to stroll, with lots of trails and paths in which to wander and take photos. We took the Dyke Loop Trail and enjoyed the warmth of the sun, the colourful trees, and the wildlife that we saw - woodpeckers, ducks, rabbits, and even a dog named Coco (a brindle boxer - okay, she wasn't "wildlife" but she was great, and so cute and friendly.)

I had trouble uploading the slide show, so here's the first photo where the trail began. Then please click on "View All Images," (below) click on "full screen," and you can see the rest of the photos.

ABC Wednesday is the brainchild of Denise Nesbitt and if you're interested in participating or simply seeing others' posts, simply click here.

Monochrome Weekly

On Saturday, we took advantage of the balmy, sunny weather and took a stroll down along the river in Deas Park. Here's one of the shots I took that I turned it into black and white. Be sure to click on the photo to enlarge it.

Keep an eye out for ABC Wednesday this week when I will be posting a colour slide show of our visit to the park.

MM is hosted by Aileni and you can contribute and/or see other contributions here.