About Me

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Delta, British Columbia, Canada
I took very early retirement from teaching in '06 and did some traveling in Europe and the UK before settling down to do some private tutoring. As a voracious reader, I have many books waiting in line for me to read. Tell me I shouldn't read something, and I will. I'm a happy, optimistic person and I love to travel and through that believe that life can be a continuous learning experience. I'm looking forward to traveling more some day. I enjoy walking, cycling, water aerobics & and sports like tennis, volleyball, and fastpitch/baseball. I'm just getting into photography as a hobby and I'm enjoying learning all the bits and bobs of my digital camera. My family is everything to me and I'm delighted to be the mother of two girls and the Gramma of a boy and a girl. I may be a Gramma, but I'm at heart just a girl who wants to have fun.

Sunday, January 31, 2016

D is for DUMPED

This past weekend, I was dumped!  On Facebook, that is.  Apparently, lots of people get "dumped" there, but this was rather devastating because it was personal.  However, I must say that I've decided that life is too short and I'm not going to get into a divisive war of words over it.  I intend to take the high road and act like a mature adult instead of taking the low road, which my supposed friend has done.

What happened, you wonder.  Well, she is a real estate agent and I thought we could work together to find a new house for me and my daughter & her family.  My friend was pissed that my daughter was able to sell her home privately - so she lost out on commission there.  Then after the family had been living with me for a few months, we all came to the conclusion that between the cost of housing and our realization that it would be better for us to live separately, my daughter and I worked something out so they can buy my house and I will buy a condo nearby.  So - no commission there. 

My friend was then supposed to help me find a condo.  She showed me one - and was duly pissed off again that I did not like it.  After that, the only communication with her was her telling me to do "drive-bys" to check places out and telling me that I would have to offer "over asking" in order to get something decent

I decided to go looking on my own.  I researched a nearby community and saw about 5 condos here in my own village without her.  One condo was way over my price point, but it sounded intriguing so I decided to call the real estate agent with the listing to take a look.  I was not expecting to like it as much as I did.  It was absolutely perfect!  So...what do I do

I threw a number out to the listing agent, expecting him to say "No, not enough."  However, he felt it was a very good offer and wanted to write it up immediately.  So, I did it.  Within 45 minutes, we had a deal.  I did not feel guilty because I felt my friend had not been working for me, but for herself.  I know she wouldn't have written an offer even at asking price; instead, she would've insisted on going over, and I refused to do that.  The deal I got was better than I know I would have got through my friend and I prepared myself to tell her.

I called her the very next morning and invited her to lunch - my treat.  We had not even started to eat when I told her I had news.  Her reaction was "What?  I'm sick! How could you do that?"  and promptly walked out!  She wouldn't listen to what happened nor did she hear me say that I was prepared to pay her for her services thus far.  She Facebook pm'd me later telling me what a "sad way to end a friendship" and that what I did was beyond comprehension.  She also said it wasn't about her commission, but later emailed me going on and on about exactly that. 

Then she dumped me on Facebook and put some nasty stuff on one of my son-in-law's posts, to which he responded when he should have simply ignored it.  Then she deleted her comment to make it look like my SIL had said something nasty about her.  Today her daughter saw it and she's now demanding explanations and using the worst curse words in her comments. 

I have deleted it all and am not commenting.  In my mind, I think how I could go to the agency where she works and report her unprofessional behaviour.  But I don't want to do that.  I am hoping that in a few weeks, she might decide that she overreacted and maybe there was good reason why I went ahead without her.  If she apologizes, I will accept her apology.  But sadly, the friendship we had is, I believe, destroyed for good.

In ending, I'd like to share a quote from the book "The Light Between Oceans" that I just finished the other day.  It's about the choices we make in life and how much easier it is to forgive.  Like the song says, "let it go..." and move on with life instead of dwelling in the misery of  hatred.
Sorry to be a downer this week, but I just had to get this off my chest.  With thanks to the darling Denise Nesbitt, creator of ABC Wednesday, and to the dashing Roger, our administrator.  Also, thanks to the dandy group of helpers who dauntlessly dash around to all the daily blogs and give decorous and deserving comments.  We can always use more helpers, so if you determine that you have a half hour or so a week, do contact Roger.

22 comments:

GaynorB said...

Sadly she hasn't proved to be the friend you need, want or deserve to have. True friendship goes beyond minor disagreements and shows understanding. It seems that you are able to understand why she might have been upset and taken steps to explain the circumstances, but she wasn't prepared to offer you the same courtesy. Move on and enjoy spending time with the people who want to be in your life.

Johanna said...

I'm so sorry to hear about this, Leslie. Her followup behavior on Facebook was unacceptable -- involving your family. I hope one day you two will be able to discuss it rationally, but...

One the plus side, I'm SO glad you have found a place you like, at a price you like, and so quickly. Your friend should have been happy for you.

It makes me sad to hear of things like this. You did nothing wrong.

Melody Steenkamp said...

On one hand Leslie i am sad to read this... you don't deserve to get hurt this way...
on the other hand... i think you should ignore people like her, they are not worthy of your kindness and friendship!

Good for you that you choose to take the high road, Thumbs up Girl !

Its her loss, not yours!

Have a nice abc-day / - week
♫ M e l o d y ♫ (abc-w-team)

Roger Owen Green said...

Pardon my French, but she's a horse's ass.

ROG, ABCW

photowannabe said...

So sorry to have a friendship end that way but more power to you .
I like that you took things into your own hands and got the deal that worked so well for you.
Happy you have your own place and that it's exactly what you want.
Keep taking the high road.

carol l mckenna said...

She doesn't sound like a 'friend' of anyone ~ Hope you stay clear of her for good.

Glad you got the condo you like and your adult children like your house ~ a win, win situation and a 'good friend' would be happy for you ~ I am ~ Enjoy!

Happy week to you ~ ^_^

Photo Cache said...

I got dumped on facebook too. An old college friend engages me in gossip and I flat out told her that I have outgrown my childish ways. Next thing I knew I got dumped!

Que sera sera.....


My ABC WEDNESDAY

ellen b said...

Oops not a great marketing attitude for sure. We all tend to have an attitude that we are owed something from someone or everyone. It's not a healthy attitude to have. Glad you found the right housing choices for all concerned!

Rajesh said...

What a sad end to friendship. But do not worry, she is not worth it.

Reader Wil said...

She didn't prove to be a friend. A friend respects the decisions taken by another person.The fact that she uses Face Book to take revenge is very mean. You have the right to act as you did. I hope that you will be very happy with your new house.
Thanks for your comment. Yes, the didgeridoo is difficult to play. It must be played with circular breathing.I could'nt inspite of the lessons I had.
Wil, ABCW Team

EG CameraGirl said...

I'm thinking your former friend is in the wrong line of work. She lacks people skills.

jeannettestgermain said...

Some real estate agents think they can do with people what they want! They think the client does not have any brain or can't move on their own behalf!Good for you!
Hope you know you can change settings for you and your SIL, so you don't appear on her news feed anymore? That way you stop her shenanigans. Your SIL probably knows how to do it, but if not, write me, and I explain how.
To make a very long story short, in the move up to North. Calif. we had to fire an agent in South. and one is North Calif. That was the first time in my life we fired people, but otherwise we still would be living in the condo in South. Cal.

Anne in Oxfordshire said...

First of all , Well done on doing a "DEAL" and buying a Condo. Amazing result for everyone , so glad that you daughter and son-in-law could buy your place and you found somewhere.

Secondly , Not the friend you thought she was. As someone said above , she lacks "People Skills".. How rude that she would not listen and walk out on you. Beyond a joke.

Happy Moving .. xox

Joy said...

Sounds like she showed her true colours and certainly is no friend for a friend would want the best for you. Glad you have found a place.

Hildred said...

Every once in a while Life burdens us with these misunderstandings, - best to leave them behind and carry on...

Carin said...

Oh my goodness. She is so low and she was not and is not your friend.

Ira said...

Looks like though she was a friend to you she never felt that way. And yes, ignoring silly comments and people is the best way to tackle them! Life is more than petty behavior... you'll come through it good.

DEE DEE said...

God, this is such a pain on the wrong side.
I think being "dumped" by such a person is good for your mental health.
No point in having "frenimies" in you list Aye

Powell River Books said...

Doesn't sound like she was much of a friend to start with. - Margy

Beverley Baird said...

So sad you had to undergo such treatment from her. Sounds like she put getting her commission at all costs over your friendship./ Her loss. But you have a lovely new home - how exciting!

tulika singh said...

Social media has its uses but it can be a pain when people take t it to vent their silly frustrations. This one friend you just might not regret losing.

Suzy said...

Not worth your time and energy. A wise decision to let this friendship go. Hugs.