About Me

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Delta, British Columbia, Canada
I took very early retirement from teaching in '06 and did some traveling in Europe and the UK before settling down to do some private tutoring. As a voracious reader, I have many books waiting in line for me to read. Tell me I shouldn't read something, and I will. I'm a happy, optimistic person and I love to travel and through that believe that life can be a continuous learning experience. I'm looking forward to traveling more some day. I enjoy walking, cycling, water aerobics & and sports like tennis, volleyball, and fastpitch/baseball. I'm just getting into photography as a hobby and I'm enjoying learning all the bits and bobs of my digital camera. My family is everything to me and I'm delighted to be the mother of two girls and the Gramma of a boy and a girl. I may be a Gramma, but I'm at heart just a girl who wants to have fun.

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

C is for Compromise


Compromise - a basic negotiation process in which both parties give up something that they want in order to get something else they want more.

Be sure to click on the photos to see the details in larger format.

What a week we've had! Last week, everything was chaotic and there was so much clutter I thought I'd never feel calm again. So far there has been a lot of communication, with both of us careful not to cause any clashes by compromising on as much as possible.

We've gone through most of the boxes and found a lot of duplicates of what I already have in the house. Things like can openers, clamps, cleansers, and oh my goodness, so many clothes! Do most men have so many T-shirts and sweaters? By my calculations, he's going to need at least two full closets and a cabinet to store everything. I haven't thrown out anything unless I've asked him...and usually he's been calm about things, even when I've cajoled him into understanding that it is a piece of junk and not an antique.

A lot of stuff has been in boxes or storage for many years and as a result, was not in the cleanest condition. I tried to chatter away cheerfully as I did my chores - washing and drying the china and other things that couldn't go into the dishwasher. I also discovered a ski cap and a jaunty little walking cap that I added to my own collection in the closet.

Just to add insult to injury, my TV conked out! We didn't worry about it because he'd already put his TV in storage and we could go and get it whenever we wanted. However, after a few days of working at organizing the house, we came to realise how much the TV could give us some much-needed comfort. Finally, on Sunday, we collected the TV and got it hooked up. And the old one made it as far as the car door but by then, calamity struck! The old muscles just weren't what they used to be and they refused to work. So I called my daughter, who is very strong, and she came over to help lift it into the car.
One minor conflict is our taste in art and decor. I prefer art in the impressionistic or natural style (gardens, nature, bird) whereas he prefers bright colours. I had done my dining room in a sort of garden style with soft colours and florals. I've compromised because I actually like one picture he has of wine (by Kiff Holland) and we discovered a couple of posters that he'd bought years ago and had rolled up in a tube. I immediately went out and got them framed. Now they hang in place of the impressionistic piece I had of a lady in a garden. It's going to be hung in my office with others of my pieces so I still have that comfortable and calming environment for myself.
We've moved the couch to face the fireplace so that his music cabinet will fit in the living room. He has quite the collection of LP's and CD's and I was told that the speakers are so powerful they will be heard across town. He was told that they will never be up that loud! I also LOVE the picture of a lighthouse in a stormy sea we've put on this wall.
Beside the music cabinet is the special chair that he inherited from his mother. Apparently, the chair has quite the history in that it came from one of the first brothels in Vancouver. I remember seeing this chair in his parents' living room when he pointed it out to me and said that his Mom promised it to him when she died. This must have been around 1970-71.

We aren't finished yet, but we've certainly made a huge dent in the work of combining two households. It is a character-building work in progress that is connecting us more and more as a couple each and every day. And he found a photo of himself sailing his boat and I've fallen in love with this cute guy all over again! He looks so happy and at peace in the picture that I now understand why he still talks of buying another sailboat some day. I think that might be rather charming.


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24 comments:

Paula Scott said...

Once again, you are the conqueror of obliteration!
I am always compelled your ability to contrive such compositions!
Truly, clever!

anthonynorth said...

An excellent, lively post. C can also be for congratulations, it seems :-)

Anne in Oxfordshire said...

That certainly is a compromise...Arni is a hoarder and boy does it get on my nerves..He has stuff in the attic that has moved and moved ..why keep it, you haven't even looked at it ...only when we move...We clash on pictures, decoration (he is not bothered) what is important to renovate first !!!

He is comfortable in his surroundings and I am not...that what happens...

C is for Complacency, Clash and comfortable!! oh and cajoled :-)

Your EG Tour Guide said...

That was an entertaining post! Combining households sounds like a four letter word: WORK. ;-)

foto CHIP Sweden said...

Oh what a hard work to compromise :) We made it easy - I decide ;)
Have a nice week both of you!

Babooshka said...

The excitement of the new adventure, but oh yes I remember the compromise. We still compromise of many things now.

Mara said...

Wow, it looks like you've moved mountains! Great C's...

kikamz said...

it looks like a lot of work, but i can see you are getting there. i guess your COMPROMISE is working. Congratulations! it is indeed tough.. i am on the process of compromising too!

Carol said...

You have some great Cs here, and a fun and interesting post. Congrats to you both and thanks for sharing .

James said...

I just figured out that this C post ties in with last week's B.
I got married at very young age so this is a compromise that I didn't experience early on.

Roger Owen Green said...

Compromise is tough. CONGRATS on achieving it and describing it in a CLEVER way.

Pear tree cottage! said...

good on you both - I work in a thrift store and many combined homes end up on our back door sadly. It looks like compromise is a wise word in your home. Lee-ann

Maggie May said...

*C* is also for CAPABLE, which is what you are. Capable of COMBINING the two COLLECTIONS of possessions without CLUTTER, CALMLY & without it being a CATASTROPHE! CONGRATULATIONS!

Regina said...

Really good!

Jay said...

Yep, I think compromise is a rock at the foundation of any real relationship! Sounds like you're off to a great start!

I love the lighthouse picture, too.

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

Excellent post - really enjoyed it Leslie. Now you have completed the chores - there will be plenty of time for cuddles! A

Q said...

I looked forward to visiting you today. I wanted to see how combining your households was going and to see how C would play in!
You are so cleaver!
Sherry

Joy said...

A lifetime of objects is not easy to combine but you seem to be making a good start. I like that nautical trunk.

Life with Kaishon said...

You are so creative : ) And your paintings and artwork are delightful : ). A nice combination of two separate styles!

photowannabe said...

You definitely have a charming Honey of a guy. Loved this post and feel like I have gotten to know both of you better.
Compromise is the name of the game.

Russell said...

I will really like the turntable! I remember having a Pioneer turntable, a fancy tuner and receiver and HUGE speakers! Heh!! I still have a turntable and listen to LPs but it is part of a radio, CD player, record player combination unit.

I like the yacht, too! We don't have those in Iowa!!!

Tumblewords: said...

Compromise is a good thing! There could be a lot more of it in the big scheme of things but it sounds like you have it under control at your casa!

Janie said...

Fun post, and so many C words!
Sounds like your calm and compromise is going well.

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

Sounds like you're doing fine to me! Love the chair history.