C is for Compromise

Compromise - a basic negotiation process in which both parties give up something that they want in order to get something else they want more.

Be sure to click on the photos to see the details in larger format.

What a week we've had! Last week, everything was chaotic and there was so much clutter I thought I'd never feel calm again. So far there has been a lot of communication, with both of us careful not to cause any clashes by compromising on as much as possible.

We've gone through most of the boxes and found a lot of duplicates of what I already have in the house. Things like can openers, clamps, cleansers, and oh my goodness, so many clothes! Do most men have so many T-shirts and sweaters? By my calculations, he's going to need at least two full closets and a cabinet to store everything. I haven't thrown out anything unless I've asked him...and usually he's been calm about things, even when I've cajoled him into understanding that it is a piece of junk and not an antique.

A lot of stuff has been in boxes or storage for many years and as a result, was not in the cleanest condition. I tried to chatter away cheerfully as I did my chores - washing and drying the china and other things that couldn't go into the dishwasher. I also discovered a ski cap and a jaunty little walking cap that I added to my own collection in the closet.

Just to add insult to injury, my TV conked out! We didn't worry about it because he'd already put his TV in storage and we could go and get it whenever we wanted. However, after a few days of working at organizing the house, we came to realise how much the TV could give us some much-needed comfort. Finally, on Sunday, we collected the TV and got it hooked up. And the old one made it as far as the car door but by then, calamity struck! The old muscles just weren't what they used to be and they refused to work. So I called my daughter, who is very strong, and she came over to help lift it into the car.

One minor conflict is our taste in art and decor. I prefer art in the impressionistic or natural style (gardens, nature, bird) whereas he prefers bright colours. I had done my dining room in a sort of garden style with soft colours and florals. I've compromised because I actually like one picture he has of wine (by Kiff Holland) and we discovered a couple of posters that he'd bought years ago and had rolled up in a tube. I immediately went out and got them framed. Now they hang in place of the impressionistic piece I had of a lady in a garden. It's going to be hung in my office with others of my pieces so I still have that comfortable and calming environment for myself.

We've moved the couch to face the fireplace so that his music cabinet will fit in the living room. He has quite the collection of LP's and CD's and I was told that the speakers are so powerful they will be heard across town. He was told that they will never be up that loud! I also LOVE the picture of a lighthouse in a stormy sea we've put on this wall.

Beside the music cabinet is the special chair that he inherited from his mother. Apparently, the chair has quite the history in that it came from one of the first brothels in Vancouver. I remember seeing this chair in his parents' living room when he pointed it out to me and said that his Mom promised it to him when she died. This must have been around 1970-71.

We aren't finished yet, but we've certainly made a huge dent in the work of combining two households. It is a character-building work in progress that is connecting us more and more as a couple each and every day. And he found a photo of himself sailing his boat and I've fallen in love with this cute guy all over again! He looks so happy and at peace in the picture that I now understand why he still talks of buying another sailboat some day. I think that might be rather charming.

ABC Wednesday is brought to you by Mrs. Nesbitt. Click here to see the participants and feel free to join in.