Last week, I mentioned that knowledge is power and that we're going to arm ourselves with as much knowledge about cancer as possible in order to fight accordingly. However, that said, no one ever told me that the shock and worry would hit me like a brick bat! My blood pressure has shot up to 160/90, making me lightheaded and dizzy with a head that feels as though it's going to explode. After seeing the doctor on Saturday to make sure I wasn't having a stroke, I came home to bed, silently weeping so as not to worry my DL. D2 happened to phone for something and I asked her if she had any tranquilizers in her arsenal of drugs. She did, so when DL realized how distraught I was, he whipped out right away to pick them up. One .5 mg of lorazapam did the trick and I was able to doze for a while and get up for a late supper.
I think I'm over the first of the shock, but next come two appointments with a surgeon and an oncologist - Thursday and Friday. Perhaps more tests and/or CT scans or an MRI plus surgery within the next few weeks. We've postponed our late September wedding, but are hoping that the honeymoon trip we booked will still be a possible recuperation trip instead. If not, I have cancellation insurance and we'll just go from there.
I had breakfast this morning with an old friend who went through this same problem two years ago. It was so gratifying to hear how well she's doing, and that she didn't need chemo or radiation. She also told me that it was almost harder on her husband than on herself because as the loved one, you feel so helpless.
I've also found that it is times like this that one's true friends rise to the challenge. And I think I've found my sense of humour again, too.
20 comments:
I do hope all goes well, Leslie, I'm holding good thoughts for you. And this is excellent information for the day! Take care and know we're here for you, too!
Sylvia
Leslie, life sure is strange with its twists and turns...
Lean on the people who love you...that honeymoon/recuperation trip is right around the corner...
I've heard much of the fight against cancer lies in the attitude. Here's wishing you and yours positive thoughts and attitudes! If that fails, there's always lots of lorazapam to help out.
Having a husband who has health issues (he had a kidney transplant in 03, after a year and a half on dialysis, I offer this bit of advice - you have to take care of yourself. Do what you have to kep healthy.
You are continually in my prayers - both of you.
Take care.
You should absolutely tell you doctor that you need something for the times you are just too overwhelmed! I hope you can make that honeymoon trip!
Wish I was there to give you a hug (((hug))). I'm glad you could talk to the friend who's been through it. Praying that it will give you some peace of mind. I think that recup. trip will be just what the doctor ordered.
I am now a team captain in the Rio Rancho Relay for Life Cancer walk this June 25-26. It's a huge undertaking for me, but too many people in my life have had cancer. Some won. Some lost.
May you continue to find sources of strength and inspiration to get through all of this! Good thoughts and prayers are sent your way.
Leslie, I hope things will be good for you, and that you will find the strength to keep positive thoughts in your mind. I too say lean on those who love you and open your heart to their care and support. Take care, - thoughts and prayers are coming your way.
I'm sending best wishes and good thoughts too - keep your chin up.
Gary
I wish you both all the best! Modern medicine can do marvellous things - I know, because otherwise I wouldn't have been here to write this :-)
Dear Leslie! So many good blogging friends are thinking of you, praying and wishing you well! I can only add:"Take care of yourself and your loved ones". It's good that you can talk about it. My mum and my two sisters had breastcancer and had been operated on successfully. It will be difficult for you, but I hope that you will have a splendid wedding and a very wonderful honeymoon.
You are such a trooper! You have just inspired me to keep walking on! I am carrying a few troubles that never end, but it's so important just to keep walking! I find blogging about the beauty of the world helps me to keep my mind at a measure of peace!
Hope it helps you over this testing time, my friend is on it to cope with a long term ailment and it benefits her outlook. Wishing you well and as RuneE says modern medicine is a wonderful thing. If only it was as easy as the medicine on Star Trek.
Hoping all goes well! Life is certainly a series of ups and downs, fear and happiness, good and bad. Good luck!
Tumblewords is right.
Your friends will be good support for you through this. A bath with essential oils is a great help at such a time too- try lavender and mandarin-2 drops of each.
And it's time like these that God seems closer.
When Mike used to go for his hospital appointments I'd have to wait in the waiting room because I knew I'd faint or something if I went in with him, from panic and fear. But that was nearly 20 years and look at us now!
Keep taking the pills!!
Lots of love to you both. xxxx
Sometimes we do just need to be helped over a bumpy part of the road with a little chemical assistance, don't we? It's OK. When the treatment begins, I think you'll probably feel more positive. Talk your fears and anxieties through with the consultant/surgeon, as well as with your beloved. I think sometimes we try too hard to protect the sufferer, and he may need to talk too.
Good luck with the appointments - and with the treatment, too.
Yes, Leslie, please take care of yourself so you can take care of others.The illness of a close family member IS very stressful.
I recommend hitting something, like that punching bag you've compared yourself with.
Prayers to you and yours.
On behalf of the ABC Wednesday team, thank you!- Ramblin' with Roger
Dear Leslie,
You amaze me. You have a sense of humour when you are going through these medical problems. But I agree with you whole-heartedly: knowledge is the key. You can find solutions through the right kind of knowledge.
I am very late, but thankfully, the reasons for my tardiness are not the same as yours.
I wish you well and will remember you in my prayers.
For what it can be worth, here's my post:
http://annasadornments.blogspot.com/2010/04/abcwednesday-round-6-alphabe-thursday-l.html
Permalinks are good. You can read my post anytime you like.
Hope the wedding/honeymoon, or whatever you call it, will lift your spirits.
Anna
Ativan was my husband's ally when he was going through chemo. It actually stopped the hurt.
Xanax is something else you may want to try, as Ativan is pretty heavy duty.
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