Last week, I mentioned that knowledge is power and that we're going to arm ourselves with as much knowledge about cancer as possible in order to fight accordingly. However, that said, no one ever told me that the shock and worry would hit me like a brick bat! My blood pressure has shot up to 160/90, making me lightheaded and dizzy with a head that feels as though it's going to explode. After seeing the doctor on Saturday to make sure I wasn't having a stroke, I came home to bed, silently weeping so as not to worry my DL. D2 happened to phone for something and I asked her if she had any tranquilizers in her arsenal of drugs. She did, so when DL realized how distraught I was, he whipped out right away to pick them up. One .5 mg of lorazapam did the trick and I was able to doze for a while and get up for a late supper.
I think I'm over the first of the shock, but next come two appointments with a surgeon and an oncologist - Thursday and Friday. Perhaps more tests and/or CT scans or an MRI plus surgery within the next few weeks. We've postponed our late September wedding, but are hoping that the honeymoon trip we booked will still be a possible recuperation trip instead. If not, I have cancellation insurance and we'll just go from there.
I had breakfast this morning with an old friend who went through this same problem two years ago. It was so gratifying to hear how well she's doing, and that she didn't need chemo or radiation. She also told me that it was almost harder on her husband than on herself because as the loved one, you feel so helpless.
I've also found that it is times like this that one's true friends rise to the challenge. And I think I've found my sense of humour again, too.