Chalk Dust and Pencil Shavings

I get excited every year at this time. On the first Tuesday after Labour Day, all the kids go back to school, usually excited to see all their old friends and meet their new teacher. Even though I'm officially retired, I still return to my old school several times a year and keep in touch with former students and colleagues.


I've actually already been to school; last week, I had a meeting with my friend Cathy who is the Learning Assistance Teacher and one of the new teachers who will have one (or maybe more) of the students I tutor. After our little meeting, off I went to the Dollar Store to pick up some supplies. It was so much fun looking at all the fancy pencils, erasers, stickers, magnetic alphabet letters, prize toys, and more. I came out of there with a big bag worth almost $20.00. It now sits on my dining room table waiting for me to organize everything in preparation for my first student who will come on Wednesday.


I do miss teaching in the classroom, but I do not miss all the "extra" stuff that goes along with the job, especially report cards and meetings meetings meetings. I love to work with kids one-on-one and an hour just flies by. I'm hoping to have about 5 or 6 regular students this year to keep my hand in and to keep my mind busy with researching how best to assist them. I'm also hoping I'll only have to take off two weeks after I eventually have my back surgery. Having the kids come for their lessons will be something to look forward to while I'm still housebound and will also keep me from getting depressed.


I used to love the smell of my classroom first thing in the morning before the kids would arrive. But now, instead of waking up early to arrive at school an hour ahead of the students, I can sleep in until I'm totally refreshed. I can sip my coffee as I read the paper at a leisurely pace and do the daily crossword. I can get my grocery shopping, laundry, and other household chores done in the mornings and even have time to occasionally meet a friend for lunch or go and visit my grandchildren. If I go out, I'll be home before rush hour in plenty of time to set up the lessons for the afternoon.


And I'll have my evenings free without having to worry about marking, lesson plans, report cards, parent/teacher conferences, or "Meet the Teacher" Night. (We used to call it "Meet the Creature Night.") This is the life!

Now for a bit of Teacher Humour:

Murphy's teaching laws:

1. The clock in the instructor's room will be wrong.
2. Disaster will occur when visitors are in the room.
3. A subject interesting to the teacher will bore students.
4. The time a teacher takes in explaining is inversely proportional to the information retained by students.
5. A meeting's length will be directly proportional to the boredom the speaker produces.
6. Students who are doing better are credited with working harder. If children start to do poorly, the teacher will be blamed.
7. The problem child will be a school board member's child.
8. When the instructor is late, he will meet the principal in the hall.
9. If the instructor is late and does not meet the principal, the instructor is late to the faculty meeting.
10. Clocks will run more quickly during free time.
11. On a test day, at least 15% of the class will be absent
12. Murphy's Law will go into effect at the beginning of an evaluation.

I'm so glad I don't have to worry about any of that anymore! Retired Teachers still have Class!

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