About Me

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Delta, British Columbia, Canada
I took very early retirement from teaching in '06 and did some traveling in Europe and the UK before settling down to do some private tutoring. As a voracious reader, I have many books waiting in line for me to read. Tell me I shouldn't read something, and I will. I'm a happy, optimistic person and I love to travel and through that believe that life can be a continuous learning experience. I'm looking forward to traveling more some day. I enjoy walking, cycling, water aerobics & and sports like tennis, volleyball, and fastpitch/baseball. I'm just getting into photography as a hobby and I'm enjoying learning all the bits and bobs of my digital camera. My family is everything to me and I'm delighted to be the mother of two girls and the Gramma of a boy and a girl. I may be a Gramma, but I'm at heart just a girl who wants to have fun.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Life Speed

Have you ever laid in bed late at night unable to sleep and your mind starts to wander? Well, of course you have! So you'll understand the process I went through last night after eating a tad bit too much chocolate. The body was highly caffeinated and caused a whirlwind of memories to flood into my already overactive mind.

I started thinking about girlfriends I've had over my lifetime, girlfriends that I never see anymore, girlfriends I never hear from anymore, girlfriends I never see or hear from at Christmas anymore, girlfriends who are probably grandmothers like me now...

It's true how, as you grow older, the seasons fly by at a rate that seems to surpass the speed of light. It seems like only yesterday that I was maid of honour to Di on her wedding day in October of 1970. She moved away to Winnipeg, then to Red Deer, and finally to Fredericton and the friendship has dwindled away to the occasional email.

It doesn't seem that long ago that another friend shared the process of first pregnancies with me through the summer of 1976. We both had daughters and shared the first few years of their lives together. Now I don't even know where she lives.

Then Margaret came into my life. She lived behind me across the fence and had three children roughly the same ages as my two. What a wonderful woman she was as she took care of my two when I was called in to substitute teach. She was a second mother to my little girls until I realised that I wanted to be the only mother they had, so quit working altogether. We kept in touch even when she moved to another community, but the friendship gradually faded away.
Colleen accepted me into her home when another acquaintance invited me to their weekly Bible study. After lots of coffee visits, we became quite close, and she and her husband were the ones I called when my husband was found dead early one August morning in 1992. Our children are all grown up now and her life revolves around her husband and other activities.

One friend named Linda came into my life as a result of our both becoming single again and we hit it off. But over the years, I found her to be controling, obsessive, and paranoid. Although I felt sorry for her and her circumstances, she was dragging me down, so I finally stopped all contact.
Another Linda was a co-worker and we'd make dinner for each other once in a while and share stories about our kids and our past marriages. When I moved on to go back to teaching, we stopped seeing each other so often.

My friend Kathy (with a K) is the first of my friends to die. That sounds so blunt - maybe I should say she "passed away" or "was called home to the Lord." But cancer ate away at her for almost 20 years and that insidious disease won the battle.

It's not as if I stopped liking these women or that they stopped liking me. I think our lives change and evolve as our circumstances change. We make friends according to what's going on in our lives at the time. When we're newly married, we socialize with other newly marrieds. When we have children, our lives revolve around our children and so we meet other parents who are going through similar circumstances. School, soccer practise, dance recitals, skating and swimming lessons find parents sitting in the stands or on the sidelines and we get to talking.

Friendships come and go as our children grow, and we move along with them until one day they've moved along right out of the house. We become grandparents and talk to others about the grandchildren. Gone are the Jane Fonda days of "feel the burn!" We have to find new activities that suit our aging bodies, activities like gentle fit, water aerobics, and walking.

Tomorrow my grandchildren will be getting married and having their own children. I must admit that I look forward to that time and pray God that I experience it in relatively good health, both in body and mind.

And then in light speed, I'll see that golden glow and my parents, my husband, Kathy, and others will welcome me to my new home.

And a new life will begin.

Life speed............with Cathy, Josie, Jane, Suzanne, Eileen, Irene, Joan, 2 Wendys, 3 Marions, Ruth, and all you blogger girlfriends that I hereby dub "Blogette Buddies."


Welshcakes Limoncello said...

It's always sad when a friendship ends but sometimes we just have to let it go. I do admire your faith, Leslie.

Jo said...

What a great post! I never had sisters, but I have friends who have been my friends since were were seven years old. That is the closest I will ever get to having a sister. We can go for months without being in touch with each other, and then we will take up just where we left off.

When I first met you, I felt as if I had known you forever. And now whenever we get together, I feel so comfortable with you. We can talk and laugh and just have a good time, as if we had known each other forever. It's a very nice feeling. :-)

peppylady (Dora) said...

It strange how friendship change over the years.
Maybe we should look at what we offer in a friendship not what we can get from it.

Coffee is on.

Anne in Oxfordshire said...

Such a great post...yes it is very sad, when we lose our friends, not because we have fallen out, paths have just taken a new route. Or like you, you had to let them go, as they were upsetting you life.

I have three friends that I have known since I lived in Wales, and we are in touch a lot...Sally in Norfolk, Rachel and Leslie...I would say that Sally and I are the closest, and as you know we do meet up. But I do still have one friend, another Sally, that I have been friends with since the age of 11, we went to the same school, now she doesn;t live that far from Cambridge, but we hardly see each other, but we both know, that we pick up, where we left off, and always end up laughing on the phone.

My sister passed away, we were very different, and not that close, we were when we were younger but as years passed, she hardly kept in touch.

And now I have friends all over the world!! :-)

Jo's-D-Eyes said...

wow Leslie,
You are happy to have such friends, I can name some too but most importanbt is what they mean to you (and me) friendship is so important but can be sad too when its ending, that can be heartpainly. I see YOU as a blog friend adn I hope you are doing well (hows your back and how 's your P-medicine?) anyhow I always like visiting your blog, when I do NOT visit that does not mean that I am not interested. Like last week we wer on holiday, come and see (on my blog) what we did please?

My blog is here: www.joannwalraven.blogspot.com
Good weekend wishes from me

Greetings from "JoAnn's D Eyes"

sally in norfolk said...

friends.... It always makes me feel sad that i have no real close friends that live near me... no one to call in to visit for a quick coffee no one to meet up with for lunch or even a swim or a visit to th gym. No one to help if my car breaks down or i have an emergency at home.( even writing it makes me feel sad :-( )
I would say Anne in oxfordshire is my closest freind and she has always been there for me when i needed someone.

Ellee Seymour said...

It sounds like an appropriate time for reflection as your children marry. Old friends certainly are the best.

Ruth W. said...

wonderful post Leslie. I do have a few very close friends that I do treasure with all my heart, and consider them my family.

I truly love my blogging friends, it is amazing how open and honest we are to each other.

I know if I ever get back out in your area, I will look you and Josie up. I think we would get along famously.

nancygrayce said...

How insightful! You could have been talking about my life! I think as we age and change, our friendships do too. It's sad, but part of the cycle of life.

By the way, when our daddy died, my sister told some one we had "lost" him and I said no we didn't , he died! I'm a realist because I have to be!

Saz said...

A great post!! you read so effortlessly....
and thanks for dropping by so often, its lovely to have you!!

CherryPie said...

I am a bit like Sally, most of my close friends moved away.

Barbara said...

What a wonderful post! I often think of friendships from over the years and how they change, few friends are friends for life and it is good to make new friends. I hope we will be blogger friends for many years to come.

Mommy Jo said...

So wonderful! As a new mommy I've been blessed with new friendship and try as I may to hold to my 'old' friends, it is slowly going away.

Thanks for the reassurance.

Over by Authorblog

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