About Me

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Delta, British Columbia, Canada
I took very early retirement from teaching in '06 and did some traveling in Europe and the UK before settling down to do some private tutoring. As a voracious reader, I have many books waiting in line for me to read. Tell me I shouldn't read something, and I will. I'm a happy, optimistic person and I love to travel and through that believe that life can be a continuous learning experience. I'm looking forward to traveling more some day. I enjoy walking, cycling, water aerobics & and sports like tennis, volleyball, and fastpitch/baseball. I'm just getting into photography as a hobby and I'm enjoying learning all the bits and bobs of my digital camera. My family is everything to me and I'm delighted to be the mother of two girls and the Gramma of a boy and a girl. I may be a Gramma, but I'm at heart just a girl who wants to have fun.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

From Romance to Reality to Relationship

ABC Wednesday is up to the letter R in this fifth go-round, hosted by Denise Nesbitt. Check out other participants' ideas on each letter of the week by clicking here.

Romance is a general term that refers to the attempt to express love with words or deeds. Within the context of "romantic love" relationships, it usually implies an expression of one's love, or one's deep emotional desires to connect with another person. So how does one express love towards another? Verbal expressions like "I love you," "I adore you," "I want to make you happy," "You make me so happy," are typical. Showing love towards another person in deeds could be expressed through bringing unexpected gifts like flowers, or through making a special meal, taking the loved one out for the evening, or simply by holding hands.

However, eventually, reality sets in. Reality, in everyday usage, means the state of things as they actually exist. No matter how deeply a couple is in love, they still have to face the fact that the garbage needs to be taken out, bills need to be paid, one or the other will get sick, one might lose a job, or one might snore.

Romance that survives reality can become an enduring relationship that involves a level of interdependence. People in a relationship influence each other by sharing their thoughts and feelings and by engaging in activities together. Because of this interdependence, most things that change or impact one member of the relationship will have some level of impact on the other member.

Yes, reality has intruded upon our romance, but that was to be expected. Now, we're working on developing that enduring relationship that will hopefully surpass all the doubts and fears that constantly creep into our lives. The bottom line is that we love each other.

20 comments:

fickleinpink said...

that's a very sweet post, and so very true, too!

happy ABC!

mine's up, too!
have a great day!

Mercy Uganda said...

Isn't it funny that in the romance stage, you think your heart will burst......in the reality phase you just really want them to put the toilet seat down......then in the relationship phase, you know the other person is there for life! I loved the romance, but I love the relationship even more!

Autumn Belle @ KDP said...

Romance, Reality and Relatiohships should be kept in balance. Respect each other and love with no regrets.

jabblog said...

Excellent post. Sadly so many people seem to expect moonlight and roses all the way and don't understand that relationships need to be worked at.

photowannabe said...

Keep those hands clasped tightly together you two. Reality will make your relationship grow stronger. It will be 46 years for us this January. The bumps along the way can really be good in the long run.
Sue

Life with Kaishon said...

I think this post was such a wonderful reminder! Dead on : ) Loved it! And especially loved that last picture of the hands! Very pretty!

Mar said...

Beautiful and deep take on the theme, wonderful post!!
Love that last shot. I should remember it this coming January, we will be celebrating our silver anniversary (25 years...where did the time go? lol)

R is for renovation

Jedediah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jedediah said...

That made me think of this webcomic:
http://der-flix.de/index.php?preselect=10
The package contains love and being asked if they need anything else, Flix says no, thanks and remakrs in the second panel "I thought that would be all we needed".
Romance without reality sounds nice, but I don't think it would work.

Carol said...

Great post, Leslie, you are so good at sharing. These three wonderful Rs intertwined weave throughout the tapestry of life. And so love grows....

Jay said...

Exactly so. An enduring relationship is well worth the effort! Good R!

Joy said...

"My true love hath my heart, and I have his", the line by Philip Sudney says it all. Lovely post.

Rose said...

Such a thoughtful and appropriate post, Leslie! Too often, people give up on a relationship when the romances fads a bit and reality sets in. But those who can survive those times have a much deeper relationship. Hubby and I will be celebrating our 40th anniversary at the end of the month.

Q said...

Lovely post. After 37 years of marriage I have a romantic relationship with moonlight and roses and holding hands. We just know when to hold on and when to let go!
Sherry

Tumblewords: said...

Happy romance and wishing you a perfect joining with reality.

Janie said...

Wonderful analysis of the stages of love, all in R words! Very witty and wise.

Liz said...

Yes, relationships take work as well as love and lots of laughs!

Roger Owen Green said...

This has been a wonderful journey you've been sharing, Leslie. Thank you.

Romance is easy; reality is harsh; relationships require work.

Shrinky said...

Such a wise and sage post, Leslie. Sounds like you are working it out just fine (smile).

Anonymous said...

It is very interesting for me to read this post. Thanks for it. I like such topics and anything that is connected to them. I definitely want to read more soon.