T is for TIPS

I know I'm a bit early for this, but I was thinking about it and just got on a roll. Enjoy.

We have passed the one year mark of our reunion and boy, have we ever learned a lot! It's amazing how different love is when you're a mature adult, having been around the block once or twice (so-to-speak). It's not all that immediate lust and passion and googly eyes and heart palpitations - well, that does happen at first just like in the good ole days. But because we're older, wiser, and more realistic about the highs and lows, we've had to work hard to figure out if this relationship is right - or not. So far, so good. But it does take work! In that vein, I was researching relationships and came upon some good tips. And in order to keep things light, I've taken the liberty of adding a few cartoons to illustrate some of the points. Be sure to click on them if you can't seem them clearly.

Communication - Talk, Talk, Talk! We spend a long time over dinner every evening and we are able to tell each other things that are good and things that aren't so good in our life or in our relationship. I must admit that I tend to run away if I'm hurt or annoyed, but Lorne is better at making me sit down and face the truth. And the best time to talk about problems is when things are going well and we're relaxed.

Compromise - At some point, one or the other partner is going to have to give way and concede on what they would prefer. And sometimes, both partners will have to give way. If one or the other insists on having their own way all the time, there will be problems which may well result in a breakdown of the relationship. We've had to work on compromise a lot! And I must say that I tend to compromise more than "he" does, and I've had to be very careful not to hurt his feelings about some of his things. But we try to remember that we're two individuals with a different set of experiences, beliefs and world views. How we were brought up largely defines a great deal of our attitude towards things.

Commitment - We all know what it is like to not want to do something, but having made a commitment we hold to our word. Couple relationships are no exception. There will undoubtedly be times when we don’t feel like making an effort – but will do so. And generally, the more we give the more we receive! We also need to commit to keeping our problems to ourselves, to not sharing these things with friends or relatives. If other people get involved in our relationship, it will seldom help and could actually destroyed our relationship.

Celebration - One vital way of keeping a relationship alive is to celebrate it; share an activity together – seek to enjoy life and play together. This element becomes increasingly difficult when the daily struggles of day-to-day life intrude and finances are tight. We like to go for walks or on photo safaris, as we call them, and share the rare sunshine on an autumn day.

Choices - I learned through my church that love is a choice. I can choose to love or choose not to love. And we make a choice to make sure our relationship takes priority over anything else, be it work, hobbies, or friends. And in loving him, I end up receiving his love and that is the best dividend ever!

Well, besides doing a bit of research on relationships and giving you some tips that I found, I've had a really good laugh at these cartoons and hope you have, too!

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