About Me

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Delta, British Columbia, Canada
I took very early retirement from teaching in '06 and did some traveling in Europe and the UK before settling down to do some private tutoring. As a voracious reader, I have many books waiting in line for me to read. Tell me I shouldn't read something, and I will. I'm a happy, optimistic person and I love to travel and through that believe that life can be a continuous learning experience. I'm looking forward to traveling more some day. I enjoy walking, cycling, water aerobics & and sports like tennis, volleyball, and fastpitch/baseball. I'm just getting into photography as a hobby and I'm enjoying learning all the bits and bobs of my digital camera. My family is everything to me and I'm delighted to be the mother of two girls and the Gramma of a boy and a girl. I may be a Gramma, but I'm at heart just a girl who wants to have fun.

Monday, November 30, 2009

T is for TIPS

I know I'm a bit early for this, but I was thinking about it and just got on a roll. Enjoy.
We have passed the one year mark of our reunion and boy, have we ever learned a lot! It's amazing how different love is when you're a mature adult, having been around the block once or twice (so-to-speak). It's not all that immediate lust and passion and googly eyes and heart palpitations - well, that does happen at first just like in the good ole days. But because we're older, wiser, and more realistic about the highs and lows, we've had to work hard to figure out if this relationship is right - or not. So far, so good. But it does take work! In that vein, I was researching relationships and came upon some good tips. And in order to keep things light, I've taken the liberty of adding a few cartoons to illustrate some of the points. Be sure to click on them if you can't seem them clearly.

Communication - Talk, Talk, Talk! We spend a long time over dinner every evening and we are able to tell each other things that are good and things that aren't so good in our life or in our relationship. I must admit that I tend to run away if I'm hurt or annoyed, but Lorne is better at making me sit down and face the truth. And the best time to talk about problems is when things are going well and we're relaxed.

Compromise - At some point, one or the other partner is going to have to give way and concede on what they would prefer. And sometimes, both partners will have to give way. If one or the other insists on having their own way all the time, there will be problems which may well result in a breakdown of the relationship. We've had to work on compromise a lot! And I must say that I tend to compromise more than "he" does, and I've had to be very careful not to hurt his feelings about some of his things. But we try to remember that we're two individuals with a different set of experiences, beliefs and world views. How we were brought up largely defines a great deal of our attitude towards things.

Commitment - We all know what it is like to not want to do something, but having made a commitment we hold to our word. Couple relationships are no exception. There will undoubtedly be times when we don’t feel like making an effort – but will do so. And generally, the more we give the more we receive! We also need to commit to keeping our problems to ourselves, to not sharing these things with friends or relatives. If other people get involved in our relationship, it will seldom help and could actually destroyed our relationship.

Celebration - One vital way of keeping a relationship alive is to celebrate it; share an activity together – seek to enjoy life and play together. This element becomes increasingly difficult when the daily struggles of day-to-day life intrude and finances are tight. We like to go for walks or on photo safaris, as we call them, and share the rare sunshine on an autumn day.

Choices - I learned through my church that love is a choice. I can choose to love or choose not to love. And we make a choice to make sure our relationship takes priority over anything else, be it work, hobbies, or friends. And in loving him, I end up receiving his love and that is the best dividend ever!

Well, besides doing a bit of research on relationships and giving you some tips that I found, I've had a really good laugh at these cartoons and hope you have, too!

ABC Wednesday is brought to you by Denise Nesbitt and if you're interested in participating or reading some other contributions, just click here.


Maggie May said...

You always come up with such original ideas for this meme and of course there is always much wisdom there.
You pack such thought into these posts & illustrate them well. Loved your little cartoons.

Relationships...... it can take a lifetime to learn each other's ways.Don't think we ever really get there.Always something to learn.

Nuts in May

Anne in Oxfordshire said...

Loving these tips, Lesley must show them to my husband!!

Oh I can imagine how hard it must be, for you, as you say you are both older now, and love is different.

We are entering our 19th year together, and boy, we have both changed so much, it is hard..!!

Mara said...

Great tips. I will remember them (hopefully) when I ever get around to a relationship myself.


Sylvia K said...

These are great tips, Lesley! We could all benefit from a refresher course! Love the cartoons, too. Relationships are never easy and you can always learn more about one another. Thanks for your visit and comments, always appreciated!



Reader Wil said...

These tips are very useful inall kind of relationships! Thank you!

Janie said...

I love the barbed wire in the bed cartoon!
These are some important relationship tips.

Carolyn Ford said...

So clever! Very good post!

photowannabe said...

A really nice and thought provoking post with witty cartoons to accompany it. Being married almost 46 years has brought Hubby and myself through just about everything. We're still together and still in love, though you are right, its not the googly dewy eyed first love. (:0)

RuneE said...

They even hold after 37 years...

Roger Owen Green said...

Leslie - my S was almost a week early, so I can relate.

For your four Cs, I'm trying to turn into 4 Ts for the occasion:

1. Talk
2. Trial & error (imperfect, but)
3. Togetherness
4. Triumph
5. Tolerance

But your Cs are good. Better, actually.

melisa said...

This is really a wonderful blog. When we feel bored we log on to this blog we can cheer and feel good.
vancouver flowers

Tumblewords: said...

Cute post!

Rose said...

Great advice, Leslie, and loved the cartoons! My husband and I just celebrated a major anniversary, and I know the tough times in our marriage were when we didn't always follow these tips. Compromise and commitment--very important C-words!

Paula Scott said...

A very refreshing and different twist to ABC Weds! I most certainly did enjoy those tips!

Judi said...

Fun post and good info! Chris Rock (comedian) said men only want three things: food, sex, silence. That has been my experience:)

Beverley Baird said...

What great tips! As someone who found aand married someone later in life (we married at age 50!), I know these tips really work.
Thanks for sharing.

mrsnesbitt said...

Wonderful lesley, some thoughts there for all of us to ponder upon! We've been married 21 years and there are some words today which I will take away from here.


Song of the little road said...

hey leslie

i loved reading your blog.
i got to it just by chance, maybe by lucky chance.

thanks for writing down such beautiful stuff.

would love to be in contact with you.
take care

Song of the little road said...

hey leslie

i loved reading your blog.
i got to it just by chance, maybe by lucky chance.

thanks for writing down such beautiful stuff.

would love to be in contact with you.
take care