On My Own

Good morning, everyone, and welcome to the week of O here at ABC Wednesday. Today, I'd like to tell you a bit about what it's like to be on my own again. 

At first, it was very hard with feelings of sorrow, guilt, loneliness, emptiness and regret.  Although I knew it was the right thing to do, it took a long time to get over those feelings plus the obscene rage I felt at being so outrageously betrayed.  The marriage, if you can call it that, lasted less than a year, and in fact, was over within a few days of the wedding.  Even after all those years of being together, it was a shock to discover that it had all been a lie.

So I moved on.

Last summer I had a carport sale and got rid of stuff I didn't need anymore.  But then I wrecked my ankle again!  So I spent many a day sitting outside in the shade reading lots and lots of books and chatting with neighbours as they'd go by and check on how I was doing.  At times, I felt a bit lonely as I couldn't just up and do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted.  But I healed up quite well and in my mind started making my decisions on what to do next.

First, I decided it was high time I had a holiday.  So I made my arrangements to travel to England and Wales in June and July of this year to visit some friends.  Then, it was time to sell my house and move to a condo where there were no memories of anyone there. 

This is what greeted me at the library one day - a beautiful symbol of the cycle of growth and the return of warmth and abundance after the long winter.  Talk about a metaphor for my life!

Now I am firmly ensconced in my new home with my beloved Tegan, 3-year-old English yellow Labrador.  It's because of her that I have to get up in the morning and get dressed, take her out, get her breakfast and tidy up.  I know in my heart that if it weren't for her, I would probably sleep until noon before going out to the library to meet my students.  Then I would veg in front of the TV until bedtime.  But with all her balls, she kisses me awake and off we go!

 Here, she's asking if it's supper time yet.

Since there is a lovely and huge garden almost outside my door, Tegan and I spend a lot of time there.  We've met so many wonderful residents, some with dogs and some without.  The gardens are beautiful and I've taken many photos as the spring blossoms have appeared.  I throw a ball for Tegan and when we tire out, we sit in the shade - I sit in one of the nice lawn chairs that are provided for those who use the area.  Sometimes Tegan and I go to a neighbourhood park where we play Frisbee.  Although there is enough room in the garden here, Tegan gets too excited with the Frisbee and can start barking...I don't want anyone complaining about that.  I've actually had compliments on the fact that she doesn't bark at everyone who goes by the gate - like the smaller yappy dogs here.  Here she is playing with her new boyfriend, part Bernese/part Labrador TITAN - handsome devil, isn't he?

So, I'm nicely settled in a new home, I'm anxiously anticipating my trip in 2 months, my older daughter and her family are now living in the area and my younger daughter and her husband are moving back here, too.  We will all be together - but separate - the best of all worlds for us. Finally, here's a shot of the cherry blossoms in full bloom where we play. The grass is now green with pink dots as the blooms are shedding and the trees are filling in with leaves.

I felt so overwhelmed for such a long time, but now I've come full circle and know that I'm a winner, a survivor, and an optimist.  And, as Helen Reddy sang, "I am woman, hear me roar!"  With optimum thanks to the gang at ABC Wednesday - the obliging Denise Nesbitt, creator of ABCW, the organized Roger, our administrator, and the outstanding group of bloggers who visit everyone who contributes here.  And thanks to YOU ALL for all your support as I've travelled this objectionable path.