Fear on Christmas Day

Christmas started with a sudden rap on my bedroom door at 3:30 a.m. Jaclyn had come over to spend the night and was in dire pain. I took her to emergency, and they put her on morphine, took blood and xrays. The doctor felt she should stay so I left her there at 6:00 a.m. to go back to bed for a bit more sleep. She phoned around 11:00 a.m. to tell me they were taking her by ambulance to Peach Arch Hospital in White Rock (a neighbouring community) for a CT scan. I got up then and had a shower so I'd be ready to go and be with her at a moment's notice. She phoned around 2:00 p.m. to tell me she was back at our local hospital and was waiting for the results. In the meantime, my other daughter Jamie, her husband and their little boy Noah arrived and we decided I wouldn't cook the turkey but we'd open our presents. Then around 3:30 p.m. Jaclyn phoned to tell us she was allowed to come home for a couple of hours but she would have to go back so they could monitor her until Thursday when things are up and running again.

Jason went and got her and she curled up on the sofa long enough to open her gifts and to watch Noah, whom she adores, open his gifts too. She was white as a sheet and hadn't eaten all day but finally agreed to some toast and a bit of water. She could only manage to get 1/2 piece of toast down. Jamie took her back to the hospital and when she came back we played Hungry Hungry Hippos with Noah for a while.
Since I didn't really have anything else in the house to eat other than my diet food, I was going to take Jamie, Jason and Noah out for dinner. But...*sigh*...nothing was open (even McDonald's) except for a local hotel that was charging $39.95 per person for a Christmas banquet. My whole turkey didn't cost that much, so we opted to cook my turkey another day. So they all went home to have spaghetti at their place and I ate my diet food and a bowl of M&Ms.

Then I headed over to the hospital to check that Jaclyn was settled and took her some toothpaste, toothbrush, clean undies and sox. I saw the doctor and she told me they're going to monitor her until Thursday and then they'll contact the BC Cancer Agency to let them know what's been happening and to try to get her admitted immediately for the surgery. The doctor said she cannot be home in her condition. She's on IVs to keep fluids in her because she started vomiting when she got back to the hospital.
I don't really care whether we get to have the turkey or whether it has to be thrown out. I'm so worried about my daughter than I can hardly think straight. She looked so helpless in that hospital emergency bed. And I can't get over the size of the tumor inside of her. Apparently, it's 25 cm by 18 cm by 15 cm! For you who aren't on metric, that's the equivalent of 10" by 7" by 6" so imagine that inside of you! God, please don't let it be cancer!!!

So Christmas came and went and it wasn't really a happy day, to say the least. I hope the next time I write about this predicament we're in (that's an understatement, don't you think?) I'll be able to report good news. It doesn't matter how old our children are because when they're sick and need us we still think of them as our babies.

Please continue to pray for her health and my ability to stay strong for her. Lord, look upon Jaclyn with eyes of mercy, may your healing hand rest upon her, may your life-giving powers flow into every cell of her body and into the depths of her soul, cleansing, purifying, restoring her. Amen.