About Me

My photo
Delta, British Columbia, Canada
I took very early retirement from teaching in '06 and did some traveling in Europe and the UK before settling down to do some private tutoring. As a voracious reader, I have many books waiting in line for me to read. Tell me I shouldn't read something, and I will. I'm a happy, optimistic person and I love to travel and through that believe that life can be a continuous learning experience. I'm looking forward to traveling more some day. I enjoy walking, cycling, water aerobics & and sports like tennis, volleyball, and fastpitch/baseball. I'm just getting into photography as a hobby and I'm enjoying learning all the bits and bobs of my digital camera. My family is everything to me and I'm delighted to be the mother of two girls and the Gramma of a boy and a girl. I may be a Gramma, but I'm at heart just a girl who wants to have fun.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Still wondering who I am and why I'm here.

I did a personality test that I found online (and now I've lost the site) and the results state that I am a benevolent visionary. Well, what on earth does that mean?

Let's start with the word "benevolent." According to Wikipedia, a benevolent person characterizes the true goodness of the mind and spirit, the unbiased kindness to do good. It is the expression of "agape love" (greek word for unconditional love).

Okay, so for me it means I'm understanding, giving, and trusting. My caring nature goes beyond a basic concern in that I take the time to understand the nuances of people's situations before passing any sort of judgement. Yes, I believe that is very true of me. I often find myself standing up for someone whom others dislike for any reason. I feel it isn't right to judge anyone unless you have stood in their shoes. That goes for people I know personally and for others whom people verbally judge in my presence. On the other hand, because I can spend a lot of time caring for others, I can forget to take care of myself. This is true and I've recently come to a realisation that I need to look out for my own physical, emotional, and mental health.

Okay, on to the word "visionary." Wikipedia states that people like this see "visions" or "apparitions" either supernaturally or through meditation, lucid dreams, or day dreams. By extension, visionary came to mean also a person with a clear, distinctive and specific (in some details) vision of the future. It could mean imagining what doesn't yet exist or will never exist on Earth but will in another realm.

Well, I am very imaginative and I'm much better at seeing the "big picture" than I am with details. Plus, I do see wonder in abstract things. For example, I can't draw my way out of a paper bag, but I can "see" things in certain pieces of abstract art. I experience vivid dreams to the point that I sometimes feel that I actually "live" in another life when I'm asleep. I have a strong faith and have experienced one visit each from my grandmother, my husband, and my parents after they passed away. As a result of those experiences, I am not afraid of death at all, although I do hope the actual process isn't painful. However, I never force my position on this type of thing on anyone and enjoy hearing about others' belief systems and customs. On the other hand, my way of thinking can sometimes prevent me from being open to new ideas so that's something I need to work on.

Overall, I'm totally feminine, extroverted, and hold great trust in other people. I'm also highly aesthetic, meaning I'm very receptive to what is considered to be pleasurable to the senses (e.g. art, music, fashion). On the other hand, I'm very low in openness which can make me appear to be rather mysterious. That sounds a bit contradictory since I'm an extrovert, too. But when you think about it, it can make sense.

I've come a long way from age 21 (above photo) to now being a grandmother of two. And still I'm not sure sometimes who I am and why I'm here. I don't understand how these tests work, but it's fun to take them and see if they're even close to what you think about yourself. This one was pretty close to the mark and made me think about how I might change things in the days to come. One goal I've made from doing this test is to try to become a bit more spontaneous when it comes to doing things for fun.
What about you? Do you ever ponder your place on this earth? Do you ever wonder why you were ever born? Do you even like your own personality? What would you do differently if you could?


Josie said...

Leslie, I know you personally, and I see you as an optimist and an outgoing person, an extrovert. You definitely see the cup as half full. You would be the go to person in a crisis, because you don't fold up. You charge ahead, and you're very confident.

“Oh would some power the gift give us, to see ourselves as others see us.”

Too bad you lost the site, I would love to try the quiz as well.

leslie said...

I'll see if I can find it again and put up a link.

meggie said...

I think we are all very complex, & apparent contradictions can be true.
I would have said, from just reading your blog, that you are a cup half full person!

geewits said...

I only figured out my reason for existing in the last couple of years and it is so freeing. I hope you find what yours is. Most likely you know what it is, but haven't realized it yet. Mine is cheering people up. Not in a cheerleader way or a clown that makes funny balloon animals way, but through long deep talks where I can actually redirect their thinking to a more positive path. It's like I lead people to that bright light at the end of the tunnel through thoughts and perception. I've been doing it all my life, but it was so natural, I never really thought about it until, like you, I asked, "What is my purpose." And it was there all the time, as Dorothy said. Yours is already there. You just have to see it. Good luck!

Carver said...

Interesting topic and I love the shot of you at 21. I'm not sure I can answer the questions. I think I know myself pretty well but am aware others don't always see me the same way I see myself. That has surprised me at times.

Annie said...

Hi Leslie, Interesting - and I like the photo of the 21 year old woman in lacy clothes, simply lovely. I suppose I would (not having taken the quiz which I gather is one that discerns how one is in response to others) call myself an empathic, sensitive, independent person. I like to learn about and respond to people but not depend upon them.

Thanks for coming by my place.
See, here I am responding to you, sensitively I hope,

Country Girl said...

Just reading your site daily makes me believe you're an optimist like myself.

I don't know what I'd change, but I try not to dwell on the past. I do know that I'd be lucky to have me as a friend. And I'm not being vain in that respect. So yes, I do like my personality.

Good post!

Smalltown RN said...

Ok Leslie...looks like you and Josie have been doing alot of thinking about "self" lately. I don't have any of those answers.....I use to wonder what it would have been like to have been born into another family....like if I had been born to royalty....but as I get older I am thankful for my simple life...you my friend are a very positive person and from what I have read in all your posts a very caring warm and loving individual who is always available when called upon....and yes you do see your cup half full....

starnitesky said...

You sound like a really lovely person, like you I can be extrovert but I am low in openness. I also am a carer and sometimes neglect myself.
I am not sure why I am here but I hope I can do some good in the world while I am here.

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

You looked lovely at 21 and you STILL look lovely, Leslie. I agree wholeheartedly that you can't judge a person until you have stood in their shoes.
This is a wonderful post.
Oh! - Almost forgot - Buona Pasqua dalla Sicilia xx

Sandy's Space said...

Hey, that's one hot looking Mama!!!!

Leslie, how are you? I have not heard from you in awhile. I hope all is well. Drop me a note one time. I have a new blog site if you wish to explore.



Sandy's Space said...

Sorry Leslie, the full address is:


mrsnesbitt said...

A very thought provoking post leslie.
I have some thoughts which have formed my choice of J next week!